Well another day is nearly over and dinner has again been an unmitigated disaster. I put a lot of effort into this one. Shame. I love cooking.
I can't help feeling that I'd have more success if I cooked under Test Kitchen Conditions. Television chefs make me green with envy.
It's all set up for them – the ingredients are complete, fresh, pre-prepared and presented in neat little glass bowls. Their kitchens are clean and all the utensils they need are at hand. If it all goes to pot there's 'one we prepared earlier' waiting in the oven (which actually works!) to be presented. Heck – somebody's even on hand to make sure their MAKEUP IS PERFECT. Pah.
My kitchen on the other hand, is a
Double-Dare Culinary/Parenthood Challenge Experiment.
I made that term up. Using a Thesaurus.
Here are a few of my challenges:
- I don’t want dinner
- I don’t like dinner
- I only want a lolly
- I think I will be able to eat dinner now
- Can I have a lolly before dinner
- I really really want dinner right NOW
- Is it ready NOW
- Can you make it ready NOW
- I did a wee Mummy.
- And a poo.
- I don't want to be held
- I don't want to be put down
- I want to play with something
- Not that
- Not that either, guess what I want
- I don't want anything, trick question Mummy
- Hold me now
- No don’t hold me: can't you remember I don't want to be held
- I don't want to be put down either
- Feed me right NOW
- Don't feed me THAT
- Oh I give up just give me a glass of water instead
- plastic ping-pong balls rolling on the floor
- oranges rolling on the floor
- onions rolling on the floor
- onion skin being peeled all over the floor
- toys to trip over
- saucepans to trip over
- bowls to trip over
- containers to trip over
- Smoochy Girl to trip over
- *squash* what on earth is THAT between my toes
- required utensils are lost/being played with/dirty
- dinner is not quite ready yet the children are climbing the walls to be fed, bathed and put into bed
- serve up dinner even though the meat isn't quite cooked, the potatoes aren't quite cooked, and the pumpkin is still rather raw in the middle
I think I’d better stop typing up that list. I can feel my blood pressure rising. Instead I will post some pictures of my recent culinary delights being enjoyed by our willing taster.Puppity Doggity tasting a new recipe called 'Ham, Zucchini and Carrot Fritters Without The Carrot'. I thought we had a fridge full of carrots but we actually had, in round figures, none. Zero. As far as figures go, you can't get rounder than that. Forgetting the main ingredient (rice) was the reason Puppity Doggity ended up eating Attempt #1.
Puppity Doggity sampling "Bleating Roast Lamb" which was served up far too early under intense pressure from both children who wanted to be fed Now-Now-Now-Now-NOW!
Puppity Doggity testing "Gravy Of Doom." I see it as punishment for her recent naughtiness.